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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23501692">Coming to Terms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/erinmar13/pseuds/erinmar13'>erinmar13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, First Time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:55:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,461</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23501692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/erinmar13/pseuds/erinmar13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the conversation in the pool, the two bed down for the night. The shift in their relationship makes itself apparent.<br/>(seriously though, this is totally what should have happened that night)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>144</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Coming to Terms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harrow burrowed into the bed and curled up in the tightest ball she could, determined to get warm. It didn’t help; she shivered so hard the bed shook.</p><p>Gideon tried to drown out the sound of bones rattling together and ignore the incessant vibrating of the entire room. She finally couldn’t take it any longer. “Damn it, Harrow. What is wrong with you? I can’t sleep because of your damn racket.”</p><p>“I’m cold.” Harrow pulled the blankets tighter around her.</p><p>“It’s cuz you’re built like an emaciated bird. If you had some meat on your bones, you’d be fine.” Gideon chastised.</p><p>“If you’re so hot then, Griddle, get up here and warm me up.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m definitely hot.” Gideon smirked.</p><p>Harrow blushed, immeasurably pleased for the darkness obscuring it.</p><p>Gideon climbed into the larger bed. Harrow pressed back into the curve of Gideon’s muscular body and her stomach fell to her toes.</p><p>Gideon apprehensively wrapped her arm around her companion’s small frame. Her hand brushed against the bare skin of Harrow’s arm. “Fuck, Harrow, you’re as cold as a skeleton.”</p><p>Harrow shivered in Gideon’s grasp. “I told you I was cold. Stop bitching and help me warm up.”</p><p>“Hey. Don’t bitch at me, it’s your fault you’re so cold. You’re the one who made us stand in the pool in the middle of the night.”</p><p>Harrow sighed. “You’re right.”</p><p>“Hold up, let me write that down; ‘Harrowhark Nonagesimus just said that I—Gideon Nav—was right.” Gideon moved to get out of bed to actually go write it down.</p><p>Harrow rolled over as quickly as she could and snatched Gideon around the waist. “Don’t you dare get out of this bed, Nav.”</p><p>Gideon stopped and settled back down around Harrow. “That’s more like my Harrow. I was beginning to worry you’d taken too many hits to the head lately.”</p><p>Harrow swallowed<em>. ‘Her Harrow.’</em> She tried not to think about it and instead put her attention into not freezing to death. She curled her body up small once more and pressed close to Gideon, fitting perfectly into the crook of her body.</p><p>Gideon stared at Harrow in the cold, dim light. Her dark eyes were like black holes, but Gideon found them almost comforting instead of off-putting. The thin brow that had once been so frustratingly furrowed, now seemed tired and strained with worry. Harrow’s hideously pointed chin and sharp jaw line now seemed delicate and fragile. And that awful, thin arch of her lips was strangely enticing.</p><p>Harrow stopped shivering. Gideon looked up to her eyes; Harrow had been looking right at her. She had been caught out. Suddenly, Gideon was extremely warm.</p><p>Harrow flexed her small hand against Gideon’s hip. “I’m warm now.”</p><p>“Good. Maybe I can get some sleep now.” Gideon made to return to the smaller mattress at the foot of Harrow’s bed.</p><p>Harrow grabbed Gideon’s hip. “Stop.”</p><p>Gideon sank back down. “What now?”</p><p>Harrow sighed and pressed comfortably into the shape of Gideon’s body. “You really are dense, Griddle.”</p><p>“Hey, fuck you.” Gideon protested. Something in Harrow’s voice sounded different, almost like it wasn’t an insult. Gideon twisted her hips with conviction.</p><p>Harrow placed a hand on Gideon’s cheek. Her raven eyes were strangely soft. “Gideon.”</p><p>She froze.</p><p>“You understand nothing about windows of opportunity.” Harrow kissed her.</p><p>Gideon’s brain screamed, <em>‘WHAT THE FUCK?’ </em>But her lips kissed back.</p><p>Harrow tightened her grip and pulled Gideon closer, drowning in the touch for as long as she was allowed.</p><p>Gideon eventually pulled back. She pressed her forehead against Harrow’s and they sat in contented silence as this new shift slowly sunk in and flowed through them.</p><p>“What do you mean I don’t understand windows of opportunity?” Gideon finally broke the silence.</p><p>“You should have kissed me in the damn pool. Or when we were sitting on the side of the pool. Alone in the night, holding hands while the waves crashed softly in the background.” Harrow stated.</p><p>Gideon stared blankly. “I’m a fucking idiot.”</p><p>“Yes, Gideon, you are.” Harrow shrugged.</p><p>Gideon sighed; old habits readied her for a fight. Gideon reeled herself back as Harrow continued.</p><p>“But I’m pretty fucking stupid too. I should have been honest with you a long time ago. About everything.” Harrow looked at Gideon’s throat, unable to meet her eyes.</p><p>“You should have. But I don’t know that I would have listened. But look, it’s only fair that since you laid everything out for me, that I be at least a little honest with you.” Gideon rolled onto her back. If she didn’t have to look at Harrow, maybe she could get the words out.</p><p>Harrow rested her head on Gideon’s shoulder and waited patiently.</p><p>The proximity was new and a little terrifying, but nice. Gideon reached deep down inside, grabbed herself by the balls, and just went for it. “I was scared.”</p><p>Harrow didn’t say anything.</p><p>“We were finally getting somewhere. Someone trusted me. <em>You</em> trusted me.” Gideon gritted her teeth. “I didn’t want to push my luck and ruin that.” She took a deep breath, made a small groan in her chest and finally spit out the next sentence as if it were all one word, “But also, maybe I’m not comfortable with admitting that I want to bang you.”</p><p>Harrow laughed. Which was probably the worst thing she could have done.</p><p>“Right, okay. I’ll go.” Gideon tried to shrink off the bed to hide in the darkness.</p><p>“Griddle. Gideon.” Harrow stroked Gideon’s throat. “I’m not laughing at you.”</p><p>Gideon swallowed hard. “It kinda feels like it.”</p><p>Harrow shifted her body, laying on Gideon. “It was the delivery.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Harrow smiled. “It was just uniquely Gideon.”</p><p>Gideon opened her mouth to argue, but before any sound came out, Harrow cut her off.</p><p>“Shut up and kiss me.”</p><p>Gideon smirked and obliged her necromancer. Finally, an order she didn’t mind being given.</p><p>Harrow shifted, coaxing Gideon to lie on top of her. The heavy weight of Gideon’s athletic body felt comforting and warm. For the first time in six years, Harrow felt safe and at home. She held Gideon’s face, pleading for intimacy.</p><p>Gideon pressed herself up, the muscles in her arms tensing.</p><p>Harrow licked her lips. She ran her hands up Gideon’s arms, feeling the muscles. “You really are strong, Nav.”</p><p>“The only things to do in the Ninth house are workout and fight.”</p><p>“I like it.” Harrow wrapped her fingers around Gideon’s bicep.</p><p>Gideon smiled and flexed harder.</p><p>Harrow looked into Gideon’s golden eyes and said with utter earnestness. “I couldn’t ask for a better cavalier.” She slid her hand over Gideon’s shoulder and curled her fingers around the back of her neck. Her fingers came to rest in Gideon’s ginger locks.</p><p>Gideon grinned down over Harrow. “You’re my necromancer. One flesh, one end, bitch.” Not to let a moment slip through her fingers twice, Gideon seized her window of opportunity. She leaned onto her elbows and kissed Harrow.</p><p>Harrow held Gideon close, trying to press every bit of their bodies together.</p><p>Gideon sat up, her pelvis sinking into Harrow’s hips. Harrow fearfully snatched at Gideon’s waist.</p><p>“Calm down. I’m not going anywhere. I’m just taking my shirt off.”</p><p>Harrow uttered a small, embarrassed, “Oh.”</p><p>Gideon pulled the black fabric over her head. The silver light of the moon fell across her pale body.</p><p>Harrow slid her hands up over Gideon’s abs and shivered.</p><p>“Are you cold again?” Gideon asked.</p><p>“No.” Harrow’s voice was pinched.</p><p>Gideon smiled. “Oh.” She chuckled to herself proudly. Gideon rippled her stomach and indulged in the reflexive tightening of Harrow’s grasp.</p><p>Harrow sat up and tried to pull her over-sized shirt off. Gideon helped, taking the opportunity to run her fingers up Harrow’s thin torso.</p><p>Harrow felt suddenly very small and unprepared for this. “Have you…done this before?”</p><p>Gideon laughed. “Who the fuck would I have done anything with? Aiglemene? The nuns?!”</p><p>“Stupid question.” Harrow locked her eyes on Gideon’s collarbone.</p><p>Gideon put her knuckle under Harrow’s chin and forced her gaze up to meet her own. “We’re on level ground here, Harrow.” Gideon kissed her. She wrapped her arms around Harrow’s small body and pressed her back into the mattress.</p><p>Skin to skin, Harrow realized how hot Gideon ran. She felt like a fire burning high and bright with golden orange flames. Harrow felt she was a cold corpse in comparison, black and empty, ready to be consumed.</p><p>Gideon—oblivious to the dry tinder of Harrow’s heart—set it aflame. The heat spread through Harrow with every kiss. Wildfires set ablaze in the wake of Gideon’s fingertips exploring Harrow’s skin.</p><p>Harrow finally felt alive.</p><p>Gideon slid her fingertips down Harrow’s ribs to her hips, pausing just beneath the waist of her pants. She pulled back from their kiss, silently asking permission; secretly afraid Harrow would recoil.</p><p>Harrow nodded.</p><p>Gideon beamed and her golden eyes lit up. She slipped her hand further down Harrow’s hip. Hooking her thumb over the edge of the cloth, Gideon pushed Harrow’s pants down. She gently traced the small bony curves of Harrow’s body.</p><p>Harrow wriggled out of her pants. The only thought in her head a repetitive screaming, <em>‘PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.’</em></p><p>Gideon held herself up so Harrow could move more easily. When she settled, Gideon settled her weight onto Harrow.</p><p>“Wait, wait.” Harrow stopped her.</p><p>Gideon panicked. <em>‘I fucked it up. We didn’t even do anything and I already fucked it up.’</em></p><p>Harrow cupped Gideon’s cheek. “Calm down, Griddle. I just want to feel you against me. All of you.”</p><p>“Oh.” Gideon relaxed.</p><p>Harrow ran her fingernails down Gideon’s back. Every bit of her was muscle and strength. Harrow rested her hands on Gideon’s hips, nerves getting the better of her.</p><p>“It’s okay. I won’t bite.” Gideon paused. “Unless you want me to. I could be into that.”</p><p>Harrow huffed a laugh, a small release of tension. She dove in the deep end and slipped both hands inside Gideon’s pants and squeezed her ass.</p><p>Gideon shifted just enough for the two of them to work her pants down to her thighs. She kicked her legs and pushed her pants down and off.</p><p>With one hand on Gideon’s hip and the other around the back of her head, Harrow pulled her down. Gideon crashed into her lips, limbs sinking heavily around Harrow. They reveled in the novel sensation of each other—skin to skin, nothing hidden, lips and tongues, bodies and souls entwined.</p><p>Gideon tugged Harrow’s thin lip as she slid down, her lips exploring Harrow’s jawline and throat. She could barely hear the sounds Harrow made over the pounding in her own ears. The pit in her stomach threatened to upend her entire self, but Gideon couldn’t be torn from Harrow’s body.</p><p>Harrow ran her hands over Gideon’s back, up her neck, buried her fingers in the coif of flame-red hair. She didn’t quite know what to do with them, but she knew she wanted to feel as much of that strong body as she could.</p><p>Gideon nibbled carefully along Harrow’s collarbone and down her chest. She shyly kissed the skin between Harrow’s breasts, afraid to do anything wrong that might run this off the rails.</p><p>Harrow tugged her by the hair, pressing Gideon’s mouth to her nipple.</p><p>Gideon closed her eyes and ran her tongue over the sensitive skin.</p><p>Harrow made the most delectable sound Gideon had ever heard.</p><p>She worked her tongue, trying to find what Harrow seemed to like best. Gideon’s other hand wandered up to Harrow’s breast. She squeezed it, relishing the softness. Her thumb traced idle circles around Harrow’s nipple while she played her tongue around the other.</p><p>Harrow pressed herself into Gideon, starving for touch. A spring inside her coiled tighter and tighter until she felt like she was about to snap under the tension. Harrow grabbed Gideon’s hand from her breast and pushed it down to her pelvis.</p><p>Gideon clumsily moved her leg between Harrow’s thighs and nudged them apart with her knee. In response, Harrow wrapped her leg around Gideon’s hip. Gideon grasped Harrow’s leg and ran her hand up the lean thigh. Awkwardly, Gideon shifted her hand between their bodies. She held Harrow’s inner thigh: this was it, no going back. Everything before this, Gideon lied to herself, they could pretend had never happened. Anything more than this though…</p><p>Harrow tugged Gideon’s hair, pulling her head up so she could see her face. She reached between her thighs and grabbed Gideon’s wrist.</p><p>Gideon steeled herself for the impending rejection.</p><p>Harrow moved Gideon’s hand up and to the right.</p><p>It took a moment for Gideon to register that she had not been rejected. It clicked when Harrow pivoted her hips up against Gideon’s hand, her fingers brushing against the slick heat between Harrow’s legs.</p><p>Harrow looked deep into Gideon’s eyes as she held tight to her cav’s wrist, pushing the hand down while her hips rose.</p><p>Gideon watched Harrow as her fingers slid against her clit for the first time. The empty black space of her dark eyes sparked with the twinkling of galaxies before they closed and her head rolled back with a groan. Gideon moved her fingers back and forth, Harrow’s hips slowly finding the rhythm.</p><p>Harrow slackened her grip as Gideon’s fingers found their mark. She pulled her hand free and held tight onto Gideon’s back. She tugged Gideon’s mouth to her neck, desperate for her breath against the sensitive skin. Harrow whimpered and moaned in Gideon’s ear.</p><p>Gideon slid her fingers farther and farther south with each stroke, testing Harrow’s reaction. Harrow bucked her hips up harder each time, furious for more. She kissed the skin over the racing pulse-point on Harrow’s neck, her breath tickling her ear and slid two fingers inside Harrow.</p><p>Harrow moaned deep and dug her fingers into Gideon’s back. A soft, “Yes,” escaped her stuttered breath.</p><p>Gideon tried to focus on matching her hips behind her hand with Harrow’s jerky motions. She marveled at the feeling of Harrow around her fingers; hot and wet, so fucking hungry. It made her mouth water and her thighs shudder.</p><p>Harrow yanked her hair. “Bite me.”</p><p>Gideon tentatively ran her teeth across Harrow’s shoulder.</p><p>“I’m yours. You’re mine. My cavalier. Your necromancer. Mark me. <em>Make </em>me yours.”</p><p>Gideon sank her teeth into the muscle at the crook of Harrow’s neck. Harrow howled and tightened around Gideon’s fingers.</p><p>Gideon knew enough to know what that meant. She bit down again and again, marking deep purple and red rings along Harrow’s shoulder and neck. She coaxed Harrow’s hips faster. Harrow cried louder, panting frantically. Her nails cut into Gideon’s skin. Gideon bit down and tasted a hint of copper.</p><p>Every fiber of muscle in Harrow’s small body tensed as she screamed out.</p><p>Gideon waited for Harrow to relax before pulling her fingers free. She laid down beside Harrow, holding her close.</p><p>Harrow clung to her, like Gideon was the only safety in a dark, endless sea. Her breathing slowed as she came back down to earth.</p><p>Gideon kissed her head. “Is it always like that for you?”</p><p>Harrow scrunched her face. “How would I know?”</p><p>Gideon’s face went flat. “Fucking hell. You mean you’ve never had an orgasm?”</p><p>Harrow lifted her head. “No.” She probed, “Have you?”</p><p>“What do you think all the dirty magazines are for, Harrow? You never…” Gideon made a gesture with her hand in the vague vicinity of her crotch.</p><p>“A couple times, but I never…I don’t know, it felt like a waste of time.” Harrow began to shrink away, feeling self-conscious.</p><p>Gideon pulled her close again. “I kinda like that.”</p><p>Harrow let out a quiet, “Oh?”</p><p>Gideon smirked. “Yeah. It’s something that’s just mine.”</p><p>Harrow pressed her head against Gideon’s chest; she could hear her cavalier’s heart beat steady and strong. “I am.” Harrow kissed the skin over Gideon’s heart. “How do you want me to do this?”</p><p>“What?” Gideon was thrown by the odd question. “Are you asking how I want you to fuck me?”</p><p>“Yes.” Harrow said stubbornly.</p><p>“That’s so weird.”</p><p>“It is not. I don’t know what I’m doing and I want to make sure you enjoy it.”</p><p>Gideon sighed. “Yeah, I guess not.” Gideon thought for a minute; Harrow waited patiently on her chest. “I guess I was always curious how it would feel to have a chick go down on me.”</p><p>No further explanation seemed forthcoming, so Harrow was forced to ask. “What?”</p><p>Gideon looked down at her. “Use your tongue to get me off.”</p><p>“How the hell do you know about that?” Harrow seemed upset to not have the upper hand on Gideon.</p><p>“Dirty. Magazines.” For a moment neither of them moved. “Look, if you don’t want to, it’s fine. I really don’t mind.”</p><p>Harrow craned up and kissed Gideon softly on the lips. “I’ll do it.”</p><p><em>‘Oh fuck,’</em> Gideon thought. A million images flashed through her mind before she was brought back to reality when Harrow kissed her again.</p><p>Harrow traced her fingertips down Gideon’s arm, then back up. She kissed Gideon’s nipple, teasing her tongue around it for practice.</p><p>Gideon gripped the sheets. Harrow grabbed her hand, their fingers intertwined and Gideon held tight. “Yeah, that’s good.”</p><p>Harrow nodded, kissing just below Gideon’s ribcage. “You’re so strong. So much stronger than me.” She kissed a little lower on Gideon’s stomach. “so strong and brave.” She kissed just above Gideon’s belly button. “And stubborn enough to save me when I order you not to.”</p><p>“I’ll always save you, Harrow.”</p><p>“I know.” Harrow kissed Gideon’s stomach below her navel. She stopped and looked up at Gideon. “If I’m awful at this and you tell <em>anyone</em>, Nav, I will kill you.”</p><p>“Harrow, you’ll be fine. Besides, I wouldn’t do that.” Gideon casually dismissed Harrow’s fears as if she genuinely had no doubts.</p><p>Harrow kissed the inside of Gideon’s thigh.</p><p>Gideon choked a little and slammed her head back down on the pillow.</p><p>Harrow’s pulse raced; her stomach was in her throat. She stalled with foreplay—kissing up and down Gideon’s thighs, nipping playfully and enjoying the winces and gasps it elicited. Gideon’s hips started to twitch and Harrow knew she couldn’t stall anymore. She slid down the bed, trying to sink low enough. Gideon helped how she could, spreading her legs wide. Harrow slipped her arms under Gideon’s thighs and with a slow, steadying exhale calmed herself down.</p><p>She pressed her lips against Gideon.</p><p>Gideon let out a deep gasp. Harrow fumbled around, trying to appear like she had a plan as she felt out Gideon’s flesh with her mouth. She got a taste of Gideon’s wetness on her lips; it was salty sweet.</p><p>“That feels good.” Gideon encouraged her.</p><p>Harrow slid out her tongue, passing a circle around Gideon’s clit.</p><p>“Fuck.” Gideon balled up the sheet in one hand and grabbed a fist of Harrow’s black hair in the other.</p><p>Harrow ran circles with her tongue, gaining confidence as Gideon moaned beneath her.</p><p>Gideon did her best to keep her hips still, one good jerk and she’d probably break Harrow’s nose. But Harrow’s tongue felt better than she’d thought anything could ever feel and everything else in the world fell away.</p><p>Harrow stroked her tongue the way Gideon had used her fingers. Gideon swore again, so it must have been good. Harrow felt the subtle tightening of Gideon’s hips and settled her tongue to their rhythm.</p><p>Gideon pressed Harrow against her, lost in the sensation of her tongue and lips. Harrow sped her strokes as Gideon’s gasps and groans grew deeper.</p><p>“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” Gideon teetered on the edge.</p><p>Harrow circled Gideon’s clit with firm pressure.</p><p>“Do that.” Gideon demanded, and Harrow obeyed. In seconds Gideon fell over the edge into oblivion with a wailing sob.</p><p>Gideon collapsed on the mattress, utterly spent.</p><p>Harrow pulled back to catch her breath. Her jaw ached and her scalp was sore where Gideon had pulled her hair, but that was absolutely the best moment of her life. She wiped her mouth on the sheets and took up residence against Gideon’s side. When she could no longer see the thundering of Gideon’s heart beneath her pale chest, Harrow asked. “Are yours always like that?”</p><p>“Not even fucking close.” Gideon chuffed.</p><p>Harrow smiled to herself. She laid her head on Gideon’s shoulder and settled down for sleep.</p><p>Gideon wrapped her arms around Harrow’s body, holding her as close as possible. She was almost asleep when she heard Harrow’s voice. “What?”</p><p>“Can you pull the blankets up? I’m cold.”</p><p>Gideon laughed. “Yeah, Harrow.” Gideon pulled the covers up to her shoulders. She kissed the top of Harrow’s head and smiled. “Now settle down so I can get some damn sleep.”</p>
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